Crapwrap with care

Every Christmas (along with every birthday, no less), I inevitably find myself scavenging through the scraps of left-over wrapping paper, trying to make some dimensional sense of the random patterned planes with uneven edges and missing cut-outs like shadows rendering them absolutely impossible to be salvaged for re-use. Yes, I am one of those gift-wrappers: the type who refuses to buy more paper in the hope that last year’s bits (more likely from presents received rather than given) will help to spare the trip over to Paperchase and save a few pennies (though the sterling is close to worthless by now). And all done whilst feeling that three-fold moral uplift of being frugal, green and recycling-devout, of course. Yet it can be expected that the final product of my endeavours will be four — maybe five — different specimens of torn paper sellotaped together with the edges folded under several times to compensate for over-estimation in size, along with wrinkled creases in the hollowed grooves caused by irregularly shaped albeit thoughtfully chosen presents and my subsequent attempts to wrap and re-wrap for a snug fit. Although I persistently like to think despite the tell-tale signs that the job done in the end is not all that shabby, my friends would admittedly be far too considerate to complain if it were in fact otherwise…

But luckily this year it appears I have nothing to be embarrassed about, because now there’s a service that does precisely what I do and even gets paid for it as well. The aptly named CrapWrap™ method (made available via the unique online alternative gift-hub Firebox) provides a perfect example of cunning entrepreneurialism seizing on an untapped business opportunity inspired from the marvellous inanities of everyday life. Described as a solution for those gift-givers ‘bored of perfectly folded paper and exquisitely tied ribbon’, the ‘crapwrapping’ process has been officially branded as a ‘uniquely shoddy gift wrapping option’ involving the wrapping of ‘pressies in a slapdash fashion’. At £3.95 a pop, however, it does makes me wonder whether or not I ought to start charging a fee for my own fine touches of gift-wrap blunders…

Sarah Badr © MMVIII

See also: Oxfam Unwrapped


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