Incident on 9th St - Christopher Wool

‘Incident on 9th St.’ by Christopher Wool
silver-gelatin print, 8 3/4″ x 13 1/4″, 1997

N°4 (Relapse/Synapse)

Scenario One,
I Sleep.

wake up
twelve hours later
to find that
the last sixty hours
of personal undoing
have been completely
map redrawn,
wiped clean–
the toxic
nightmare that
takes hold
every time
this happens,
every time
i close my eyes
and do this–
now no more.

Scenario Two,
I Lie.

lay awake.
let it continue.
twenty-four more hours
just waiting it out
till its end
as somehow
torture pre-destined
makes light of
self-inflicted pain,
made tolerable
in the midst of
a familiar
causal sequence
so deeply ingrained
is this undoing
that antivenom
recedes upon impact
of such disarming
cabin fever
as i knowingly
trample on
my own minefield.

Scenario Three,
I Run Away.

make it all end,
weeding out disquiet,
curbing malaise
rooted in
because somehow
i’ve institutionalized
what it is that
i now cannot describe
and perhaps not worth
going through it again,
even if meaning
i can no longer create
after i lose the
greatest source
of inspiration
i’ve ever had
and start my life without
it all, forgetting it all
only to try to remember
how i began this war with myself.

– Sarah Badr

© 2008. S.H.Badr, All Rights Reserved.


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